My Other Half

To Shawn-

I wore my grandmother’s pearls that day. They were always in a green velvet box in my mom’s closet and growing up, I had only seen her wear them on special occasions. I remember her packing them when she and dad went to Chicago for a business trip he was taking. She said they were going to a fancy restaurant with an important client, and it was nice enough to wear Maw’s pearls.

I never knew Maw, because she died before I was born, but for the 20 years prior to this day, I had heard countless stories about her. She was graceful and statuesque and smart and sharp witted. Her mom, my Mammie, was short like my mom, but was feisty and hard working. She hosted my dad’s bachelor party and, from all the stories I’ve been told, was the last one standing at the end of the night. You see, these stories of Maw and Mammie were just one piece of my childhood that had shaped me before the day I wore her pearls. The day I became your wife.

On that day, I was the sum of all of my parts. All of my heritage and history and life experiences. My childhood, my family dynamics, my successes and failures in gymnastics and in school; my learning how to walk, how to read, how to love, how to heal a heartbreak, how to cook; when to say yes, how to say no. For 20 years I had been molded and shaped and loved and been influenced by countless people and experiences that made me who I was on that day.

On December 18, 1999, I was 20 years old and had felt like I had already lived a lifetime. I had found you, the man I loved and who I would marry, and on that cold winter day, in that beautiful stone chapel, wearing my Maw’s pearl necklace, daddy walked me down the aisle while Ave Maria echoed through the church. We knelt and we prayed and promised to love and cherish each other. We walked hand in hand out of that beautiful church and stepped into our lives as husband and wife.

And for 7,305 days, for 20 years, I have been shaped and molded and changed and blessed and have become who I am today because I have been lucky enough to be your wife. It’s not always been easy, but it’s always been worth it. You are worth it. We are worth it.

From our tiny farm house where we brought home our baby boys to where we sit today, parents of three amazing children, having accomplished so many of our goals yet with so many more to go, the road we have traveled has always led us right back to one another.

20 years ago, I didn’t know what kind of father you would be. I didn’t know how your boys would idolize you and how your baby girl would have you wrapped right around her finger. I didn’t know that your quiet patience and your rock steady, grounded honesty and reliability would become the cornerstone of all of our lives. I knew that I loved you, but I didn’t know how damn lucky I really was.

20 years ago I was a young woman who had lived a blessed and fortunate life. I was confident and principled and surrounded by love and support. That first half of my life prepared me to be your wife. To become your other half, and to have you as mine.

Time has flown. Even though it is a cliche, it is true. The last 20 years have been the best, sometimes hardest, always most rewarding, years of my life. Through joys, disappointments, loss, successes, failures, and everything in between, these years have shaped me into who I am today. Today I am a woman who has my Maw’s pearls in a green velvet box, and one day, your sweet girl will wear them in her wedding.

How lucky I am to call you mine. Thank you for loving me when I was only 20, and thank you for completing me…for being my other half….my second half. Cheers to the next 20.

-H